Those who sell on eBay generally know the elements that make a listing sizzle: catchy titles, detailed descriptions, clear photographs, quick responses to buyer queries, etc. There is one less generally mentioned, though, but clearly as important: "If you're listing your kids, expect trouble."

That was the lesson learned by a 23-year-old mother from Krumbach, Germany, who listed her 8-month-old son on eBay for €1, with the description: "Offer my nearly new baby for sale because it cries too much." She's no longer bothered by that particular problem, however, after police across the country received dozens of calls about the auction, prompting them to place the child in protective custody. Mommy Dearest insists the listing — which failed to receive any bids — was a joke, but the boys in blue aren't buying it, and have launched a child trafficking investigation.

The woman — whom we think ought to get a special Mother of the Year trophy from the Darwin Awards — seems rather recalcitrant, telling reporters "They've taken my son to hospital and I've got to take psychiatric tests next week." Oh, the humanity — we think they ought to list her on eBay, under the title "Mother for sale. Unconventional parenting style. Perfect caregiver for hyena or medium-to-large shark."